Minimise stress, delay and legal fees.
Stage 3
Negotiating
Time to Engage
If you’ve done your preparation homework, it’s time to take a deep breath and actually engage in negotiation with your ex.
Preparing To Negotiate
Remember what we said in earlier Guides? Your settlement will not be decided by “the law”. There’s a a myriad of factors that will influence your outcome. So don’t rely on a lawyer (or court) to get it sorted.
Read this Guide6 minute read
Since there are basically no rules about who gets what, and no formal processes you must follow, then what factors really influence your settlement negotiation?
Read this Guide15 minute read
Pathways
There are five common pathways to a settlement, each with very different pros and cons. We’ll review them, with particular attention to “who makes the decision?”
Read this Guide10 minute read
It’s natural to expect some kind of orderly progression towards settlement — information is exchanged, proposals are made, and things gradually come together. Ha! You wish…
Read this Guide6 minute read
Engaging in Negotiation Directly
At some point, someone needs to put forward a proposal. There’s immense benefit to you if you take the time to generate one in writing. We’ll talk you through all the reasons you should do that, then guide you through how.
Read this Guide15 minute read
If it’s time to actually engage in negotiation, the big question is whether you will do so face-to-face. It may be daunting, but there are some strong reasons to at least try. Let’s check them out.
Read this Guide7 minute read
If you’ve decided you’ll talk it through with your ex, you should be prepared. We’ll take you through our recommended agenda and a few tips.
7 minute read
OK, so you summoned up the courage to try discussing the settlement directly with the ex. Let’s reflect on what you learned, so you can factor that into your next steps.
Read this Guide7 minute read
How to Keep it Amicable - or at least Civilised
Keeping it amicable is the best way to end up with a fair and reasonable settlement. Easier said than done. Here are some perspectives that will help.
Read this Guide12 minute read
More ways to keep your negotiation civilised, with particular focus on your decision-making perspectives.
Support is available if you need it
Negotiating is never easy. If you need some support, check out the options at the bottom of this page.
Negotiation Strategies
There are several strategy issues and opportunities when negotiating a settlement. Let’s start with an overview of the core issues.
Read this Guide8 minute read
Settlements don’t usually happen in one “round”. There will be initial proposals and various counterpropositions. But with perseverances (and some goodwill if you can muster it), a deal will likely emerge.
7 minute read
Usually there are three to five key “needs” that are driving the other person’s priorities. If you’re in a position to enable or block those desires, you have leverage.
Read this Guide7 minute read
If you’ve decided you’ll talk it through with your ex, you should be prepared. We’ll take you through our recommended agenda and a few tips.
Read this Guide7 minute read
Yes, sure, people do say “everything is in the pool – so it doesn’t matter whose name each asset is held in – it all comes out in the wash.” Well, that’s just plain naive. Let’s think this one through more carefully.
Read this Guide7 minute read
It’s very common that one party doesn’t provide complete financial disclosure. It is possible to reach a settlement anyway? Yes, happens all the time. You just need to understand the trade-offs.
Read this Guide7 minute read
As you’ve seen from our other Guides, family law has essentially no rules. So if you’re negotiation is stalled or drifting, tabling the Court option can shake things up.
Read this Guide7 minute read
In your settlement negotiation, almost certainly, there will be a tension in your mind between digging your heels in versus showing some flexibility. How can you decide when to stand firm?
Read this Guide5 minute read
Timing is often a much bigger factor than you might expect. A proposal might be rejected one month and accepted two months later. Let’s think about how timing may impact on you and on your ex.
Read this Guide7 minute read
There will most likely come a point where you need to consider the emotional and logistical benefit of “cutting a deal”. Sometimes “good enough” should be your standard, rather than “perfect”.
Read this Guide4 minute read
Settlement Deal Examples
Settlement negotiations are rarely reached in a single discussion. Across several rounds the parties normally move – gradually – to an acceptable point in between their initial views. Perfectly normal.
7 minute read
The higher income earner may say they contributed more and so deserve more. But if the lower earner took on other duties (like primary carer), then that tends to swing the balance the other way.
Read this Guide7 minute read
Quite aside from what each person thinks is “fair”, it’s often the case that one party has greater urgency. That can materially alter that party’s willingness to compromise.
Read this Guide7 minute read
Usually big factors – like incomes, contributions, care of children – are major drivers in settlement outcomes. But sometimes health care – for one party or dependents – can significantly shift the result.
Read this Guide7 minute read
If you’ve decided you’ll talk it through with your ex, you should be prepared. We’ll take you through our recommended agenda and a few tips.
Read this Guide7 minute read
Parenting
The core of all parenting negotiations with your ex must be centred on the best interests of the children. If you commit to that, there are some standard parent arrangements that you can implement.
Read this Guide10 minute read
Your Headspace
It’s understandable that you might feel you’re being treated unfairly, but fixating on it won’t help. In this Guide we’ll examine why a shift in your thinking can help deliver a better outcome.
10 minute read
Yes. But only you can decide. There are plenty of reasons you might consider it. Let’s look at the 7 key factors that could lead you to conclude it’s the right decision for you.
Read this Guide10 minute read
The way the rest of your journey evolves will depend on how each of you handle the negotiation. Here are some more tips on how to keep your strategy (and your head) clear as your settlement progresses.
Read this Guide7 minute read
Support for this Stage
Negotiation Support
Savvy guidance on negotiation dynamics and tactics (insight lawyers don’t usually provide).
Best for: Individuals who want insight and anticipation of their ex’s moves and how to orchestrate a fair outcome.
Fee: $300 +GST per hour.
Creating Proper Structure
Transforming your loose agreed deal into concise, workable terms.
Best for: Couples who agree in rough terms what they want, but need it calmly managed to a clear conclusion.
Fee: $350 +GST.
Rapid Settlement Service
A bidding process, based on recommended deal parameters and managed compromise.
Best for: Looking for the voice of experience to cut through confusion and outline a rational deal structure.
Fee: $500-$1,000 +GST (ie $250-$500 +GST per person)
Shuttle Mediation
An in-depth process where you both work with an independent mediator.
Best for: Couples looking for a civilised, managed process to keep the calm and achieve a result with the least stress.
Fee: $1,000-$2,500 +GST (ie $500-$1,250 +GST per person)
Find the answers you're looking for?
There are plenty more Guides in our other Stages: Understanding, Preparing, and Finalising.
We’re also continuously adding more Guides. If you didn’t find the info or understanding you need, ask us what you want to know.
We’ll create a Guide on the subject (usually within 48 hours). And we’ll email a copy to you personally.
Insights and Strategies You Won't Find Anywhere Else
We help separating people negotiate and formalise financial settlements.
Unlike law firms, we focus on practical, real-world methods and strategies.
Our Roadmap Guides provide crucial insights into how settlements really work, not in naive and fantasy-laden ways you might read about elsewhere.
Our Services provide unique, highly effective help to get you to a fair outcome – at minimal expense.
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